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♥ Wednesday, January 11, 2006
7:50 PM

For years, I never felt so disappointed in life. Be it that I did not do well in my studies or stressed by my job, even when I am out of job.

I felt so disappointed... so bitter cause come to realization, maybe it's all my fault. I am not a good girlfriend. I do not know how to love, when to grab or let go. I felt so disappointed that when I gave total freedom when I think he is matured to think. He disappointed me with 200%. I am not angry with him, I am angry with myself. Why am I such a failure?

Do you think $$$ cures all? It's not $$ i am fully concerned. That's the basic of life to say it all. The more I saved, the more thrifty I get, the more I lost. I don want to be a control freak of his life. He will end up fearing me than loving me.

I am so tired, so depressed. What wrong did I do? You want me to tie him and fly him like a kite... he is not one and I don want to be a controller. I am speechless.

I cant closed my eyes and convinced myself to stop thinking about has happened. I really lost all the confident in him. I felt I am spent many years and trying to understand him but I failed!! I am tired of this love game. I am out of it...

Dear Lord, Father In Heaven

Teach me how to mend this broken heart,
Teach me how to be complete,
Teach me how to pray,
Teach me how to be gracious

Grant me a good rest at night,
I am tired,
Let me be in your arms like a child,
And let these tears dried up

Restore everything,
Restore my faith,
Restore my broken heart

There is no one who knows me better than You.
You are alone is my lifetime companion.
You are alone is the one who loves me and understand me.

I pray all above in your most precious name,
AMEN!