<meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/16541387?origin\x3dhttp://summeray.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>




♥ Saturday, January 28, 2006
6:58 PM

A lot of times. With technology, it brings speed. But never sufficient closeness, you can know friend thru the net, thru sms, thru email. You tot that you know the person via these technology for years and thinks maybe that people may be your lifepartner/good friend, but never.. till you meet up, see face face to, spent time together..

Are you someone who is really close to my heart. Yes, maybe I am self-centered, I am bad, I am a sinful person. I am a rot!! But have you confronted me? You didnt? You walked away.. You never see me face to face with the eye contact, have you hear me out? Thru snail mails, I don understand your feelings, yes, maybe what boils me is anger.. Cause no one know my heart, especially when I am angry. No words are comfort to me cause it is the same to everyone. When you go to a funeral, you are only say things like "sorry, is there anything i can?" a smile causes more hurts.. etc. you never know the heart of that person. When you are sad, I cant share your sadness; I don understand.. When I am happy, you don understand that joy completely too. that's why i avoid everyone..

Yes, a lot of miscommunication. just like a sms i sent concurrently meeting two person, one to meet, one not to meet (cancelling appointment). But a mistake to "sent" to the wrong party makes all miscommunication till you stopped sms and call the person or till the appointment. But silence is worse than no communication. this is also why i didnt break all communication, only allowing him to sms/email/snail mail me during this period. but still, there is a commmunication breakdown as usual.

If i don hearten my heart, maybe he will not learn. I will not learn too. Maybe it is the years of commitment, do I really want to be with him?

White lies, yes, it's to cover and makes one comfortable but the truth hurts.. And to the extend of lie over lies, using another lie to cover the existing lie.. but one day, something happened, no matter.. good lie, bad lies.. it's all explored, and the truth is painful.

Last evening, we finally meet up but i didnt want to see him eye to eye. I am afraid if I soften my heart, I am letting him to go back to old ways. I want to give him that hug but I cant. I am feeling so pain in my heart.. why I am doing all these; withdrawing my emotions? Anyway, I got something for him and his family.

A sentence.. "A picture is better than using thousand words to describe it." This is the same for our story..