It's only Tuesday.

I felt unwell at work again. Was in the afternoon, on my way to canteen and could see stars again.

My cough is back and feeling feverish by evening. Maybe I have not been exercising that why's my body immune system is so weak. Must start jogging once I am well. No more excuses!

Our first time experience @ Sunday School yesterday..

My first time as a storyteller in front of 50-60 kids. A wonderful experience..

As I took over the microphone, the team of kids I usually take care looked at me with shocking faces. And one of them smile and waves at me.. Hahah.. kinda interesting. Overall, I enjoyed myself and rate myself as 'Ok'. Will try out again if there is a chance.

His first terrible experience bringing a little boy to toilet to poo. His first reaction upon hearing the request from the boy, looked at me.. and ask, "How?" My response was to ask him to do it immediately. What if the little boy shit in his shorts.. Hahha.. He told me was a smelly, long waiting and worried experience. I only smiled and told him "Well, that's daddy-in-training".

Have received my new company badge. Getting better each time. Third badge for past 1 year.

At the least my head in the pic looked smaller. Go natural and you will look good. One comment is that I always smile without showing my teeth. This time I attempted to but not so natural.. haha.. please teach me how to smile cheerfully in front a total stranger. Well, there is always room for improvement.

Still comprehending which photographer..


one - dreamy, artistic

one - contempt, like natural...


Which one? I also cant decide.. which one? must decide early to block the dates.

Wake up earlier than expected for an off day. Helping a blind friend of mine to locate the nursing home that her dad has been transferred to. In fact, it is just an avenue opposite my place.

Probably because of low body resistance, I almost fainted after standing at the ward area for too long. It's a scary feeling that I haven't had for years. I almost blackout and I could see stars. Thank God, the nurse pushed a wheelchair for me to a better ventilated place. So embarrassing. Was there to help out, instead I stirred more trouble for her family.

After the visitation, I went back home for a short nap and shortly heads directly for gown fitting. Another photographer I met earlier talked to me. He shared on his marriage life. His wife too was not very excited about settling down and constantly worried about a lot of things. But marriage life was a bliss. Out of the conversation, he asked me whether I want to be his model. Still hesitating, afterall, I had spoken to him on few occasions and his skills are not bad too. Maybe I am able to get a better discount and gain some thing out of it. Will KIV, the photoshot will be postponed to mid of Dec cause of Dear's course.

The MTM gown has not been completed. Still need some time to saw on the touch-ups. Funny thing is that the front of gown, cloth arched too much out. That's because my tummy is flat and my abdominal is lower than normal gals. It's the first time the designer encountered such problem. In the end, best solution is to put some sponge to the tummy portion of gown so that it looked smooth. First time, hearing comment that I have a super flat tummy. Hahah.. It's not that flat, some days, it is even flatter.

Only solution is to put on more weight, which I strongly disagreed. Cause fats always goes to wrong places..Face and backside :(

My designer also told me to confirm my outdoor gown later for they will be changing new season of gowns. Some are torn or too old. By my next fitting, they have a better range for me to select from!

Thank God every thing is in place so far! Amen!!

Notice the recent trend or rather food cravings:

Once per month:
Sashimi
Porridge @ Crystal Jade
Hokkien Mee @ Punggol Coffeeshop or ChompChomp

Once per week:
Beancurd @ Rochor

Every Weekend:
Saturday - Chicken Rice / Ice Lemon
Sunday - Nasi Lemak after church

Scary eating monster.. Cant image what will happen with more food cravings.. ;P

Happy monthy anniversary! We've together for 8yrs 7 months... every 22nd of every month is meaningful to us.

This coming Wed, we will view the MTM gown. And most of all, it will decide whether our photoshoot will take place in Nov or Dec. Few things to get ready, haircut, hair to dye and dentist appointment.

I must be the laziest bride-to-be. No facials, but I put on this $1.99 mask from watsons that smells good and most of all, give a refreshment feeling. I should store up more of these and should increase the treatment as date approaches.

While dear had his haircut at his usual saloon, I flipped the wedding magazine and saw something that's near to what he had designed. It's close to style of GraceXXXXX and WhiteWeddXXXX especially. Felt a bit more relieved and praying that gown will turn out to be what everyone has in mind.

And yes, good news, I gave up dieting. No self-control at all.. Haha..White flag.

Another list of flats to be shortlisted for house viewing tmr.

When is this ever going to end? When will we get our flat? Probably we have a choice. Cant image if we get a new place through balloting; you got to pray hard and keep your fingers cross..

Somehow, utterly disappointed. Intially, we shortlisted a few blocks, later, we opened up to another avenue and now, 4 avenues.

When will this end? In my anxious heart, I should not make any rush decision. Afterall, a phrase :"Home Sweet Home" - a place of comfort after a hard day's work.

Still praying and know that it's on the way. A BIG gift from Him to us.

We has our 3Q appreciation cum farewell lunch @ Royal Raffles.

Nice ambience but unfortunately with the wrong crowd. If it's with friends or family, it would be great.

My designer called me before I ended work. My MTM gown is ready for fitting. I arranged it to take place on Wed, last minute M'sia trip has been cancelled. Wonder how it would look like. Cant image. Will it turn out to be my dream dress or a nightmare?

Look forward for the long stretch of holiday. A longer break than others.

Oct 20 - Company Holiday
Oct 21 & 22 - Weekend and P/H
Oct 23 - Holiday In Lieu
Oct 24 - P/H
Oct 25 - Company Holiday

Planning to tidy my barang barang in my house, fix the doorside, shopping in Vivio City and JUSCO.

Oct 25 is end of my 1-year contract (Layman term in our company: EOL, End OF LiFE). Had recently renewed contract, requesting for all balance leave to be carried forward. Estimating to get my 1-mth bonus by end of Nov. Actually money has not been banked in but already spilt into portions: $1,250 for wedding bands (if that design & 20% discount is still valid), tithing, $100 for spending and rest, I guess not much left for savings.

Today, recall the 5 Language of Love learnt during MPC as I traveled to work:

1) Words of Affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Receiving Gifts
4) Act of Service
5) Physical Touch

For him, it is Quality Time = concentration, focus, activities carried out together. Follow by Act Of Service. It is out of love and comes naturally out of a person, not obligation. Example: opening the car door, taking out tissue paper, helping to dry my hair etc. Simple things, unspoken words and undeniable expression of love.

For me, Words of Affirmation. Confirmation that what he did is correct. A little appraisal of things he has done. And Act of service, again.. auto.. actions more than words that touches the heart.

But again, from time to time, things may change.

Not much updates recently.

Yesterday, spent the entire morning at the bank. The fixed deposit interest rate has increased! What a letdown - just as I am starting to utilise the money for wedding preps.

One good advice. If you are very confident that money will not be touched within 6months-2years. Do your homework and place the money in a fixed deposit a/c, be it only a few Ks. (Example: $3,000 for 1yr, offering 1.3125%p.a. you earned yourself $39.37 on maturity). But of course, you may find it troublesome to bank in and remember about taking the money after maturity but it's better than putting in a normal saving a.c. to earn that few bucks! One of the most competitive bank that offers good rates for short term is M.B. & H.L.F.

This morning, we are deciding whether to go for nursery training as dear is on standby. We did in the end. But something happened..

While switching rooms, I led the little babies to form a 'choo choo train'. The front line did not move causing the second line to jam and children started pushing. In the midst, 2 boys were being pushed to the ground. One hit the table leg, another fell on the ground, against the first boy. Both screamed and cried loudly. A sudden, all adults looked on and in state of shock. I carried one of the them, the other cried so loudly, do not allow anyone to go and touch him. He cried as he walked to the worship room.

Managed to settle the boys. But realised that there was a big bump (ba-lu-gu) at the back of the head. It must be painful as I gently touch his head, he told me it's very painful and cried again. Thank God the maid was around. We called the parents but no one picked up the call. But kids after awhile forgotten what happened and played with their friends. Scary experience taking care of children, no mama-drama had happened when I was a childcare teacher. Makes me feel lousy. Makes me ponder whether I am capable to be a good mommy next time.

Before dismissal, the parents were told what happened. But they are understanding.

Valuable lesson learnt. No more next time.

Next Sunday is our fire drill. Must be extra extra careful.

Just came back from hospital. Visited my friend's father who went into coma after operation.

I dragged to go to hospital because of the awful medication smell. It leaves me teary every time when I recall of my paternal grandpa who was admitted to hospital regularly when he was at his last stage of cancer. My last visit before he passed away, his body was blotted like a water balloon as he couldnt absorb the dip anymore. I cried badly. My mom thinking I was influenced by other relatives who were in tears. Though I was only 12, I cried because he was immediate and closest elderly in my family. He was a grandpa who loves and cares for every of his grandchildren. And when I knew he was down with cancer and knows that he cant survive for long, I cant bear for him to leave me. But when it's time to go, he has to go. He passed away peacefully in his sleep.

There is 3 things I strongly believe that money cant buy: HEALTH, LOVE & HAPPINESS.

Have you thought of thanking or letting one another know that he/she is being appreciated? Or giving someone that hug?

Dont hesitate anymore. Dont be shy to say out that "Thank You or I Love You".

Decide to do a spreadsheet to keep track on our spending for wedding, house and car insurance.

Spent around SGD6k plus so far. And more to come. A simple calculation but shocking conclusion:

Wedding DAY
- SGD3,988 for basic package - paid
(exclude empeal, shoes, accessories, flowers, photos top-up and car decor)
- SGD8,500 - 9,000 for wedding venue for 200 guests (10% deposit, rest on AD)
- SGD3,500- 5,000 for out of pocket Pin Jin and Xia Pin
- SGD2,000-3,000 for hongbao for helpers
- SGD680 for AD photographer
- SGD1,200 for wedding band we set our eyes on after 20% discount
- Few thousand on miscellanous
(Min. estimation of SGD18,000 & above for above)

Housing
- 1% agent fees, est. SGD2,500 to SGD3k plus
- Cash downpayment (Varies from zero to few thousands)
- Renovation, probably at SGD15,000 & above for we are getting resale
- Furniture & electrical products (Targeting around SGD10,000)
- Few thousand on miscellanous
(Min. estimation of SGD30,000 & above)

Car Insurance - expiring around end of Mar
This year we paid around SGD3,800 including road tax.
Hopefully lesser in the coming year

Above is min. estimation of SGD50,000. That's shocking!

Our savings is still far from it. Dont be surprise, though we are in courtship for many years, he started working late, I spent my early savings on my education and with his spendthrift ways of spending years ago.. one word - sigh.

So, more saving is always safe and better than less. Especially if you are forking out of own pocket. Do always weigh and whether it is a Want or Need nowadays.

But see how it goes. Renovation loan from bank. Or my elder sister, at least it's interest free.

Praying hard that we will be debt free.

And yes, I thank God He has taught my Dear a lesson on life and money value. And learn how to treasure one another more. Use each other's weak points to convert to strength.

It's a great feeling hearing great compliments from few group of friends that I have not met up for quite some time. :)

1# Weight Loss
No dieting and excising involved. Probably because of the flu, cough and food poisoning that cause my appetite to cease. But of course, one important factor - self control. No snacking after 9.30pm, fruits okay. And probably, less coffee consumption (Less sugar and condensed milk intake).

2# Better complexion
Must admit that it's due to evening primose pills I have been taking faithfully since Feb or Mar this year. Did some research and find that it controls PMS, cramps and complexion to be less oily. But some gained weight after taking. Best recommended timing to take the pill is after breakfast. And while having menses, increase double dosage. I dont know whether it will work for others but after I recommended to my close colleague, her complexion also improved. But definitely out for guys, cause this wonderful pill is to generate more female hormones.

3# Thick Straight Hair
Overall, I have dropped more hair on everyday basis. Ask my mom and bf, they also agreed. But try this method I learnt from my hairstylist- before sleeping, instead of lying your hair flat, compressing against the pillow. Use your hands to hold your hair and spread it out after lying on the pillow. For me, I must condition my hair in the morning with either hair moisturizer or 100% pure aloe vera gel (Fruit of the Earth).

No guarrantee but I hope that it works for you!! Please feedback if you tried and we can pass it on and share with others too!

I hate it. Eveytime we quarreled. I always ponder whether is it my fault. Am I having high expectation? I am too demanding?

Too much things to do, I need to organise and plan. I have been asking him who promised that he will do the follow-up. Every time I called, he promised to follow up and get back but never. I suggest that I do it but he dont want to. He wants it his own way. He promised but never get back to me. I tried to be patient. From days ago till today, I am going to be nag. But it is only a phone call away. Is that difficult? Last minute he did the follow up. Everything has been call off. Waste of my time, other's time. If it is friends, maybe they understand but this is business. It's their time taken for co-ordinating and liaising. It could money transaction or could be time given to spend with their loved ones instead.

I dont need your perfect love but I would appreciate that you give some of your attention and listening to me. Learn to be organised.

I dont need a perfect man cause there isnt one and I am not one.

Am I too demanding?

I had the most share of mooncakes this year. All started from early Sept till now.

Especially recent weeks. I am so sick of the traditional lotus paste with yoke. Maybe snowskin will be good. Yam, durian, corn or other favours will be good too.

Have tried all types from low end to top notch hotel brands.

1 mooncake = 1,000 calories.

Usually, it's divided by 4. Now, it's divided by 8.

My health is back, so is my weight.

Dar cant remember my blog's name. He always keyed it wrongly as summerain, summeraine.. But never the correct one. Some even said why I got spelling error. Isnt it Summary? Haha.. I think I did mention in my blog before.. Never mind.

Just remembered what happened in Sunday school last week. The young ones were watching "Finding Nemo". Thought that it is a cute cartoon with interesting meaning. Who knows the kids cried at the part where the Shark appeared and went round asking the adults to hug them, sit with them.

It just reminded me in Jan (During the edge of almost breaking up). He stood at my house door overnight. It's a night I cried and soaked myself in tears. I wanted so much to open the door and hug him. But I hardened my heart to do so. A sleepless night that I keep messaging him to go off. But he stood there. I am glad that we are back together. It's the most downside of our relationship in so many years.

Well, this also reminds me no matter how old I am. I will always be a little girl in God's eyes. He has never forsaken me, give up on me. Always there to listen and always to give me that hug I desire.

Thank you for loving me, dear Heavenly Father..

Logged into my Yahoo mail this evening. They have changed to outline. It's looks a bit like outlook express though. Dont really like the change but once I have clicked and update it, there is no way I can turn back.

Updates..

Sat
Viewed 5 flats. First time viewing flats. Scary experience. Always thought that interior would be better than exterior till the viewing took place. Went to view 3 flats - 1 avenue across my home. It's just few years more mature than my estate. But GREAT DIFFERENCES - it's old and run down, especially the toilet ceiling, some cracked badly, not to mention some terrible condition that some flats are being rented out. Grrggghh.. I dont feel like stepping in. Note that we have to look at surroundings too. In fact, 2 flats we suspended that owner owes loanshark money. Lots of wordings and paintings (But of course, unit no is being concealed). Another 2 flats within my avenue. One is like what I mentioned and the other is great. But it is a corridor unit and my mom mentioned that a number of neighbours has shifted within same estate commented that it's hot like oven in the afternoon till sunset. Yes, for once, must listen what the elders say. If not, we would have considered. It's clean, good condition and spacious, plus a level of comfort as we stepped into the place. For that, we know what we want and have in mind. Should set a higher stardard and that unit as a benchmark.

Sunday
Our nursery class as usual. We had a great time with the lovely, cute babies. And the sermon was great. Our pastor's daughter shared and that reminds both of us - destiny. Not that we ask God what we have planned for but accordingly to what He has laid for us. After much discussion, though we loved to 2 blocks within my estate. We are now willing to let go and view other newer estates near my place. Who knows.. A greater plan and surprise in store for us!

After church, we rushed for lunch. He went off for minstry and I went shopping! Hahh.. Yes, you guessed it! Actually, I was hunting for a pair of shorts I want. Cause there was no stock, I went to another bigger branch. Yup, I spent 2-3 hrs there. Ended with 1 pair of shorts, 1 dress and 1 skirt (Gals power!!). Shortly, we met up again and head to meet up our friends at J8. Hahhh.. shopping again. SALES - 10-20% off!! I bought lingeries, blusher and foundation re-fills. Fulfilling with holes in my pocket but a Happy and rewarding One!!

Went back home for late dinner. Minute I reached home, no hesitation to try on the clothes. Showing off my purchases to eveyone, including my bro's g/f. Out of sudden, she mentioned she heard about the part whereby my bro wore my dress when he's very young. Long story... In fact, I was very young but I remembered. Embarrassment sets in... But much later strikes on other conversation of my mom's dresses. Past maternity dress and wedding tea dress she had kept for years.. She managed to dig it out of the cupboard. It's looks new and similar to current retro trend. It's even older by age than any one of the young ones in the living room!

Absolutely precious time spent together that no money in this world can buy.

NAME: MRS GOON
DOB: 02 AUG 1978
LOVES: GOD, FAMILY, FRIENDS, SHOPPING, MAKAN
FAVORITE VERSE: MATTHEW 6:33

It's only Tuesday.

I felt unwell at work again. Was in the afternoon, on my way to canteen and could see stars again.

My cough is back and feeling feverish by evening. Maybe I have not been exercising that why's my body immune system is so weak. Must start jogging once I am well. No more excuses!

Our first time experience @ Sunday School yesterday..

My first time as a storyteller in front of 50-60 kids. A wonderful experience..

As I took over the microphone, the team of kids I usually take care looked at me with shocking faces. And one of them smile and waves at me.. Hahah.. kinda interesting. Overall, I enjoyed myself and rate myself as 'Ok'. Will try out again if there is a chance.

His first terrible experience bringing a little boy to toilet to poo. His first reaction upon hearing the request from the boy, looked at me.. and ask, "How?" My response was to ask him to do it immediately. What if the little boy shit in his shorts.. Hahha.. He told me was a smelly, long waiting and worried experience. I only smiled and told him "Well, that's daddy-in-training".

Have received my new company badge. Getting better each time. Third badge for past 1 year.

At the least my head in the pic looked smaller. Go natural and you will look good. One comment is that I always smile without showing my teeth. This time I attempted to but not so natural.. haha.. please teach me how to smile cheerfully in front a total stranger. Well, there is always room for improvement.

Still comprehending which photographer..


one - dreamy, artistic

one - contempt, like natural...


Which one? I also cant decide.. which one? must decide early to block the dates.

Wake up earlier than expected for an off day. Helping a blind friend of mine to locate the nursing home that her dad has been transferred to. In fact, it is just an avenue opposite my place.

Probably because of low body resistance, I almost fainted after standing at the ward area for too long. It's a scary feeling that I haven't had for years. I almost blackout and I could see stars. Thank God, the nurse pushed a wheelchair for me to a better ventilated place. So embarrassing. Was there to help out, instead I stirred more trouble for her family.

After the visitation, I went back home for a short nap and shortly heads directly for gown fitting. Another photographer I met earlier talked to me. He shared on his marriage life. His wife too was not very excited about settling down and constantly worried about a lot of things. But marriage life was a bliss. Out of the conversation, he asked me whether I want to be his model. Still hesitating, afterall, I had spoken to him on few occasions and his skills are not bad too. Maybe I am able to get a better discount and gain some thing out of it. Will KIV, the photoshot will be postponed to mid of Dec cause of Dear's course.

The MTM gown has not been completed. Still need some time to saw on the touch-ups. Funny thing is that the front of gown, cloth arched too much out. That's because my tummy is flat and my abdominal is lower than normal gals. It's the first time the designer encountered such problem. In the end, best solution is to put some sponge to the tummy portion of gown so that it looked smooth. First time, hearing comment that I have a super flat tummy. Hahah.. It's not that flat, some days, it is even flatter.

Only solution is to put on more weight, which I strongly disagreed. Cause fats always goes to wrong places..Face and backside :(

My designer also told me to confirm my outdoor gown later for they will be changing new season of gowns. Some are torn or too old. By my next fitting, they have a better range for me to select from!

Thank God every thing is in place so far! Amen!!

Notice the recent trend or rather food cravings:

Once per month:
Sashimi
Porridge @ Crystal Jade
Hokkien Mee @ Punggol Coffeeshop or ChompChomp

Once per week:
Beancurd @ Rochor

Every Weekend:
Saturday - Chicken Rice / Ice Lemon
Sunday - Nasi Lemak after church

Scary eating monster.. Cant image what will happen with more food cravings.. ;P

Happy monthy anniversary! We've together for 8yrs 7 months... every 22nd of every month is meaningful to us.

This coming Wed, we will view the MTM gown. And most of all, it will decide whether our photoshoot will take place in Nov or Dec. Few things to get ready, haircut, hair to dye and dentist appointment.

I must be the laziest bride-to-be. No facials, but I put on this $1.99 mask from watsons that smells good and most of all, give a refreshment feeling. I should store up more of these and should increase the treatment as date approaches.

While dear had his haircut at his usual saloon, I flipped the wedding magazine and saw something that's near to what he had designed. It's close to style of GraceXXXXX and WhiteWeddXXXX especially. Felt a bit more relieved and praying that gown will turn out to be what everyone has in mind.

And yes, good news, I gave up dieting. No self-control at all.. Haha..White flag.

Another list of flats to be shortlisted for house viewing tmr.

When is this ever going to end? When will we get our flat? Probably we have a choice. Cant image if we get a new place through balloting; you got to pray hard and keep your fingers cross..

Somehow, utterly disappointed. Intially, we shortlisted a few blocks, later, we opened up to another avenue and now, 4 avenues.

When will this end? In my anxious heart, I should not make any rush decision. Afterall, a phrase :"Home Sweet Home" - a place of comfort after a hard day's work.

Still praying and know that it's on the way. A BIG gift from Him to us.

We has our 3Q appreciation cum farewell lunch @ Royal Raffles.

Nice ambience but unfortunately with the wrong crowd. If it's with friends or family, it would be great.

My designer called me before I ended work. My MTM gown is ready for fitting. I arranged it to take place on Wed, last minute M'sia trip has been cancelled. Wonder how it would look like. Cant image. Will it turn out to be my dream dress or a nightmare?

Look forward for the long stretch of holiday. A longer break than others.

Oct 20 - Company Holiday
Oct 21 & 22 - Weekend and P/H
Oct 23 - Holiday In Lieu
Oct 24 - P/H
Oct 25 - Company Holiday

Planning to tidy my barang barang in my house, fix the doorside, shopping in Vivio City and JUSCO.

Oct 25 is end of my 1-year contract (Layman term in our company: EOL, End OF LiFE). Had recently renewed contract, requesting for all balance leave to be carried forward. Estimating to get my 1-mth bonus by end of Nov. Actually money has not been banked in but already spilt into portions: $1,250 for wedding bands (if that design & 20% discount is still valid), tithing, $100 for spending and rest, I guess not much left for savings.

Today, recall the 5 Language of Love learnt during MPC as I traveled to work:

1) Words of Affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Receiving Gifts
4) Act of Service
5) Physical Touch

For him, it is Quality Time = concentration, focus, activities carried out together. Follow by Act Of Service. It is out of love and comes naturally out of a person, not obligation. Example: opening the car door, taking out tissue paper, helping to dry my hair etc. Simple things, unspoken words and undeniable expression of love.

For me, Words of Affirmation. Confirmation that what he did is correct. A little appraisal of things he has done. And Act of service, again.. auto.. actions more than words that touches the heart.

But again, from time to time, things may change.

Not much updates recently.

Yesterday, spent the entire morning at the bank. The fixed deposit interest rate has increased! What a letdown - just as I am starting to utilise the money for wedding preps.

One good advice. If you are very confident that money will not be touched within 6months-2years. Do your homework and place the money in a fixed deposit a/c, be it only a few Ks. (Example: $3,000 for 1yr, offering 1.3125%p.a. you earned yourself $39.37 on maturity). But of course, you may find it troublesome to bank in and remember about taking the money after maturity but it's better than putting in a normal saving a.c. to earn that few bucks! One of the most competitive bank that offers good rates for short term is M.B. & H.L.F.

This morning, we are deciding whether to go for nursery training as dear is on standby. We did in the end. But something happened..

While switching rooms, I led the little babies to form a 'choo choo train'. The front line did not move causing the second line to jam and children started pushing. In the midst, 2 boys were being pushed to the ground. One hit the table leg, another fell on the ground, against the first boy. Both screamed and cried loudly. A sudden, all adults looked on and in state of shock. I carried one of the them, the other cried so loudly, do not allow anyone to go and touch him. He cried as he walked to the worship room.

Managed to settle the boys. But realised that there was a big bump (ba-lu-gu) at the back of the head. It must be painful as I gently touch his head, he told me it's very painful and cried again. Thank God the maid was around. We called the parents but no one picked up the call. But kids after awhile forgotten what happened and played with their friends. Scary experience taking care of children, no mama-drama had happened when I was a childcare teacher. Makes me feel lousy. Makes me ponder whether I am capable to be a good mommy next time.

Before dismissal, the parents were told what happened. But they are understanding.

Valuable lesson learnt. No more next time.

Next Sunday is our fire drill. Must be extra extra careful.

Just came back from hospital. Visited my friend's father who went into coma after operation.

I dragged to go to hospital because of the awful medication smell. It leaves me teary every time when I recall of my paternal grandpa who was admitted to hospital regularly when he was at his last stage of cancer. My last visit before he passed away, his body was blotted like a water balloon as he couldnt absorb the dip anymore. I cried badly. My mom thinking I was influenced by other relatives who were in tears. Though I was only 12, I cried because he was immediate and closest elderly in my family. He was a grandpa who loves and cares for every of his grandchildren. And when I knew he was down with cancer and knows that he cant survive for long, I cant bear for him to leave me. But when it's time to go, he has to go. He passed away peacefully in his sleep.

There is 3 things I strongly believe that money cant buy: HEALTH, LOVE & HAPPINESS.

Have you thought of thanking or letting one another know that he/she is being appreciated? Or giving someone that hug?

Dont hesitate anymore. Dont be shy to say out that "Thank You or I Love You".

Decide to do a spreadsheet to keep track on our spending for wedding, house and car insurance.

Spent around SGD6k plus so far. And more to come. A simple calculation but shocking conclusion:

Wedding DAY
- SGD3,988 for basic package - paid
(exclude empeal, shoes, accessories, flowers, photos top-up and car decor)
- SGD8,500 - 9,000 for wedding venue for 200 guests (10% deposit, rest on AD)
- SGD3,500- 5,000 for out of pocket Pin Jin and Xia Pin
- SGD2,000-3,000 for hongbao for helpers
- SGD680 for AD photographer
- SGD1,200 for wedding band we set our eyes on after 20% discount
- Few thousand on miscellanous
(Min. estimation of SGD18,000 & above for above)

Housing
- 1% agent fees, est. SGD2,500 to SGD3k plus
- Cash downpayment (Varies from zero to few thousands)
- Renovation, probably at SGD15,000 & above for we are getting resale
- Furniture & electrical products (Targeting around SGD10,000)
- Few thousand on miscellanous
(Min. estimation of SGD30,000 & above)

Car Insurance - expiring around end of Mar
This year we paid around SGD3,800 including road tax.
Hopefully lesser in the coming year

Above is min. estimation of SGD50,000. That's shocking!

Our savings is still far from it. Dont be surprise, though we are in courtship for many years, he started working late, I spent my early savings on my education and with his spendthrift ways of spending years ago.. one word - sigh.

So, more saving is always safe and better than less. Especially if you are forking out of own pocket. Do always weigh and whether it is a Want or Need nowadays.

But see how it goes. Renovation loan from bank. Or my elder sister, at least it's interest free.

Praying hard that we will be debt free.

And yes, I thank God He has taught my Dear a lesson on life and money value. And learn how to treasure one another more. Use each other's weak points to convert to strength.

It's a great feeling hearing great compliments from few group of friends that I have not met up for quite some time. :)

1# Weight Loss
No dieting and excising involved. Probably because of the flu, cough and food poisoning that cause my appetite to cease. But of course, one important factor - self control. No snacking after 9.30pm, fruits okay. And probably, less coffee consumption (Less sugar and condensed milk intake).

2# Better complexion
Must admit that it's due to evening primose pills I have been taking faithfully since Feb or Mar this year. Did some research and find that it controls PMS, cramps and complexion to be less oily. But some gained weight after taking. Best recommended timing to take the pill is after breakfast. And while having menses, increase double dosage. I dont know whether it will work for others but after I recommended to my close colleague, her complexion also improved. But definitely out for guys, cause this wonderful pill is to generate more female hormones.

3# Thick Straight Hair
Overall, I have dropped more hair on everyday basis. Ask my mom and bf, they also agreed. But try this method I learnt from my hairstylist- before sleeping, instead of lying your hair flat, compressing against the pillow. Use your hands to hold your hair and spread it out after lying on the pillow. For me, I must condition my hair in the morning with either hair moisturizer or 100% pure aloe vera gel (Fruit of the Earth).

No guarrantee but I hope that it works for you!! Please feedback if you tried and we can pass it on and share with others too!

I hate it. Eveytime we quarreled. I always ponder whether is it my fault. Am I having high expectation? I am too demanding?

Too much things to do, I need to organise and plan. I have been asking him who promised that he will do the follow-up. Every time I called, he promised to follow up and get back but never. I suggest that I do it but he dont want to. He wants it his own way. He promised but never get back to me. I tried to be patient. From days ago till today, I am going to be nag. But it is only a phone call away. Is that difficult? Last minute he did the follow up. Everything has been call off. Waste of my time, other's time. If it is friends, maybe they understand but this is business. It's their time taken for co-ordinating and liaising. It could money transaction or could be time given to spend with their loved ones instead.

I dont need your perfect love but I would appreciate that you give some of your attention and listening to me. Learn to be organised.

I dont need a perfect man cause there isnt one and I am not one.

Am I too demanding?

I had the most share of mooncakes this year. All started from early Sept till now.

Especially recent weeks. I am so sick of the traditional lotus paste with yoke. Maybe snowskin will be good. Yam, durian, corn or other favours will be good too.

Have tried all types from low end to top notch hotel brands.

1 mooncake = 1,000 calories.

Usually, it's divided by 4. Now, it's divided by 8.

My health is back, so is my weight.

Dar cant remember my blog's name. He always keyed it wrongly as summerain, summeraine.. But never the correct one. Some even said why I got spelling error. Isnt it Summary? Haha.. I think I did mention in my blog before.. Never mind.

Just remembered what happened in Sunday school last week. The young ones were watching "Finding Nemo". Thought that it is a cute cartoon with interesting meaning. Who knows the kids cried at the part where the Shark appeared and went round asking the adults to hug them, sit with them.

It just reminded me in Jan (During the edge of almost breaking up). He stood at my house door overnight. It's a night I cried and soaked myself in tears. I wanted so much to open the door and hug him. But I hardened my heart to do so. A sleepless night that I keep messaging him to go off. But he stood there. I am glad that we are back together. It's the most downside of our relationship in so many years.

Well, this also reminds me no matter how old I am. I will always be a little girl in God's eyes. He has never forsaken me, give up on me. Always there to listen and always to give me that hug I desire.

Thank you for loving me, dear Heavenly Father..

Logged into my Yahoo mail this evening. They have changed to outline. It's looks a bit like outlook express though. Dont really like the change but once I have clicked and update it, there is no way I can turn back.

Updates..

Sat
Viewed 5 flats. First time viewing flats. Scary experience. Always thought that interior would be better than exterior till the viewing took place. Went to view 3 flats - 1 avenue across my home. It's just few years more mature than my estate. But GREAT DIFFERENCES - it's old and run down, especially the toilet ceiling, some cracked badly, not to mention some terrible condition that some flats are being rented out. Grrggghh.. I dont feel like stepping in. Note that we have to look at surroundings too. In fact, 2 flats we suspended that owner owes loanshark money. Lots of wordings and paintings (But of course, unit no is being concealed). Another 2 flats within my avenue. One is like what I mentioned and the other is great. But it is a corridor unit and my mom mentioned that a number of neighbours has shifted within same estate commented that it's hot like oven in the afternoon till sunset. Yes, for once, must listen what the elders say. If not, we would have considered. It's clean, good condition and spacious, plus a level of comfort as we stepped into the place. For that, we know what we want and have in mind. Should set a higher stardard and that unit as a benchmark.

Sunday
Our nursery class as usual. We had a great time with the lovely, cute babies. And the sermon was great. Our pastor's daughter shared and that reminds both of us - destiny. Not that we ask God what we have planned for but accordingly to what He has laid for us. After much discussion, though we loved to 2 blocks within my estate. We are now willing to let go and view other newer estates near my place. Who knows.. A greater plan and surprise in store for us!

After church, we rushed for lunch. He went off for minstry and I went shopping! Hahh.. Yes, you guessed it! Actually, I was hunting for a pair of shorts I want. Cause there was no stock, I went to another bigger branch. Yup, I spent 2-3 hrs there. Ended with 1 pair of shorts, 1 dress and 1 skirt (Gals power!!). Shortly, we met up again and head to meet up our friends at J8. Hahhh.. shopping again. SALES - 10-20% off!! I bought lingeries, blusher and foundation re-fills. Fulfilling with holes in my pocket but a Happy and rewarding One!!

Went back home for late dinner. Minute I reached home, no hesitation to try on the clothes. Showing off my purchases to eveyone, including my bro's g/f. Out of sudden, she mentioned she heard about the part whereby my bro wore my dress when he's very young. Long story... In fact, I was very young but I remembered. Embarrassment sets in... But much later strikes on other conversation of my mom's dresses. Past maternity dress and wedding tea dress she had kept for years.. She managed to dig it out of the cupboard. It's looks new and similar to current retro trend. It's even older by age than any one of the young ones in the living room!

Absolutely precious time spent together that no money in this world can buy.

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