♥
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Sat is the final day seeing Ah Ma's physical body.
Tears flowing for some. Personally, I know her around 9 years. It's hard to say goodbye to a loving elderly. For some, it's like a norm. I am a strong believer that what's on tv is all fake, so there is no point crying over the sad scene. And hubby always said that I kinda cold blooded. Well, that's an act. But to reality, I cried easily over some things.
Some dispute or happening we reached Mandai, some religion differences. Most of the time, relatives and friends cried out their heart as they watched the coffin pushed into the furnace. But 2 relatives even having their arguments even at this point. Even tv dont have such happening man!
And because of the tiredness and nap we took, we totally forgotten about buying a bunch of flowers that I suggested. So with such guilt, hubby did it at night, after he sent me off to meet my project mates. It was a terrifying and spooky experience. It was super dark that he had a mini touchlight and getting lost the direction where the niche was placed. So, he identified by looking at pictures of deceased we pointed out earlier. Alone, yes. Scared the heart out. He placed the flowers and even with his mind thinking what happens if there is something near his car. Silly boy. And needless to say, he quitted the idea of giving flowers to his grandpa's niche located at another block, alone.
After explanantion, he realised it was stupid of him! His grandma's spirit is with our Heavenly Father. The niche is just a memory of her and reminder. He can always do it another day leh. Sigh, this little boy.. what can I say? Only to laugh my heart out.
Had a good rest after so much happenings, back to work to catch up what was leftover and focus on my assignments.
Another week to come!
♥
Friday, November 23, 2007
Some times when things happened too soon, we are just in left in shocked.
Hubby cried whenever he thinks of Ah_Ma and I will recall with him of the visits, how even when in the initial of our days of courtship I was introduced to her as Hub's sister's galfriend and how happy she is for us to visit her. Also one of her happiest moment, on our wedding, during the tea ceremony - to acknowledge me as part of the family with warm welcome.
She always teaches me how to love another, no matter how poor or how things may be. Well, I did blow my top recently cause when I was in Korea, Hubby changed his car system and it was not just a few thousands. I am upset because he spent his money like water without hesitation, without thinking that large amount and most of all, not involving me in the decision making.
So, we talked about with his cousin and sisters during late night. I think they condemned him and kinda side with me. With much guilt in his heart. I understood it is also the Ups and Downs of marriage, now, instead, I learnt how to defend him. Hubby is just like a small kid at heart and me, at times, taking the role of a mummy cum wife cum friend.
Tonight, another night of sharing with all.
Some sadness and strengthen/bonding of this point of time.
♥
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Last evening, I was in class. Hub sms me - his grandma passed away.
Very sudden.
We rushed to her place. Ah Ma had been away peacefully in her sleep. So, we helped her to dress up in her favourite top. Some sadness when changing.
Hubby was upset cause of some dispute but the main cause, he just regretted not visiting her often. And few days before, his younger sis went to her house and passed her our wedding picture which was nicely taken with her cheery smile.
She told my sis IL it is not necessary as she cant take it to heaven and few days later.. :(
Though I am not close to her, whenever visiting her, even years before our marriage, she always give me advices on how to establish a good relationship with my hubby and how to walk a happy marriage. Her greatest wish is getting us married.
"Thank you AH MA, for loving us so much and always telling us how much God loves us too. You will always live in our hearts."
♥
Monday, November 19, 2007
Though I felt so exhausted from the daily activties like work, school, projects, assignment, SS, church.
I never regret taking this chance. I know that there is no u-turn for me.
I just hope that the roads in front will be better. Just out of sudden, I am lost. I lost all my inspiration. I lost my fighting spirit.
Life is meaningless except that my love is there for me always. God kept him close to me.
A smile from him brightens my life. A hug warmth my heart.
Thank you for being there, I will hold on.
♥
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Hub is no longer going India.
He dropped the news to me when he fetched me back from airport. No more EW too.
Out a sudden, all activities has been put to a stop. I wondered why too.
Maybe so that he can be there for me, maybe in the future, a better assignment will come along.
So for now, a rest for everyone.
♥
Saturday, November 17, 2007
I am back!!
It's been a week outside S'pore. I cant image how time had passed.
Everyday, it's different. Everyday, full of surprises. I am quite stressed up for the initial few days. So much things to do, I know I am not perfect and time is running out. After a couple of days I got used to it. Slept around 3-4 hours a day. Waking up is tough.. Life is just a learning process. I am glad it is over.
It's challenging there. But again, home is the best.
I loved it here, especially where my loved ones are.
It's good to be home (That's what I told the immigration office when I got my passport checked).
Home Sweet Home :) Really happy to be back..
Some pics to share (as usual..)
♥
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Another 2 days I will be away in Korea for business trip.
Once I am back, Hubby will be away for his attachment in India.
Tomorrow I will be shopping for printing materials, packing my stuffs.. Project discussion in the afternoon, back in the office in the evening. And Friday, last minute to rush off every outstanding items..
I hope things improved from here. So many projects untouched. I felt so lousy at times, it's like I am so green, yet must understand everything. Till now, I just felt my working chemistry with my boss is not strong. Colleagues are also busy, so how, less warmth. So things has been moving faster and faster. I lost focused at work and not concentrating. I wondered why. Dishearted at times.
I skipped my QT for some time. Today, I read the daily devotion that has some impact on me:
The Value of Hard Places
by Os Hillman, November 7, 2007 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. - 2 Corinthians 4:12
Being forced into hard places gives us a whole new perspective on life. Things we once valued no longer hold the same value. Small things become big things, and what we once thought big no longer holds such importance.
These hard places allow us to identify with the sufferings of others. It keeps us from having a shallow view of the hardships of others and allows us to truly identify with them. Those who speak of such trials from no experience often judge others who have had such hardship. It is a superficiality of Christian experience that often permeates shallow believers.
Those who have walked in hard places immediately have a kinship with others who have walked there also. They do not need to explain; they merely look at one another with mutual respect and admiration for their common experience. They know that death has worked a special thing in them. This death leads to life in others because of the hard places God has taken them through.
It is impossible to appreciate any valley experience while you are in it. However, once you have reached the top of the mountain, you are able to appreciate what terrain you have passed through. You marvel at what you were able to walk through. The valley of the shadow of death has yielded more than you ever thought possible. You are able to appreciate the beauty of the experience and lay aside the sorrow and pain it may have produced.
Death works in you for a greater purpose. If you are there today, be assured that God is producing something of much greater value than you will ever know.
♥
Sunday, November 04, 2007
It's been a tiring and stressful week.
A month since I landed myself in this new job. For the first time and first job that I found that I cant cope. Many challenges in picking up the things, projects and demands. Plus upcoming business trip, studies, tests and projects.
I felt so much stress and pressed to a 'tiny' self. Last time, I used to cry over little things. Now even so, I dont even know why I cant cry it out.
I dropped an email in the late evening, come Monday, I proposed to my boss that we have a small talk on my job performance. I know maybe some already know that I am not coping well..
Not sure how my boss thinks, I just want to let him know I know very well that I had underperformed.
How? Time is so short. Things - so many to be done.
Today, after my dissertation workshop, I pondered whether I should be going back to office or buy stuff for business trip. I must be crazy, I walked up and down the street three times.. In the end, shopping - for business trip things.
Sigh, over dinner with Hub and his friends, my mind is all full of work..
When I checked my email just now. 2 interesting mails:
1) My ex-colleague: Title "Miss U"
hi dear ,
How are you ? Last light i dream of you leh . I dream you treat us eat abalone , you told us you have 500 budget every month to treat people haha ...... Mustbe missing u too much then dream of you ............. How is ur job? heard from vera you are busy and going to korea for business soon , so happy you have a good prospect job though it is busier than here .. i believe you will have a good career future , so jiayou !!! But don't be too hard working and take good care , health is more improtant !!2) My ex-boss: Title "
How did we survive"It's a powerpoint of charlie and snoppy at the jetty and cutie song with presentation of how we survive in the past without worrying..
So how, it's like God's timing.. Sending angels to comfort me.
I should end my today's blog with following:
Those who joyfully leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.
Faith ends where worry begins and worry ends where Faith begins.
♥
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Sat is the final day seeing Ah Ma's physical body.
Tears flowing for some. Personally, I know her around 9 years. It's hard to say goodbye to a loving elderly. For some, it's like a norm. I am a strong believer that what's on tv is all fake, so there is no point crying over the sad scene. And hubby always said that I kinda cold blooded. Well, that's an act. But to reality, I cried easily over some things.
Some dispute or happening we reached Mandai, some religion differences. Most of the time, relatives and friends cried out their heart as they watched the coffin pushed into the furnace. But 2 relatives even having their arguments even at this point. Even tv dont have such happening man!
And because of the tiredness and nap we took, we totally forgotten about buying a bunch of flowers that I suggested. So with such guilt, hubby did it at night, after he sent me off to meet my project mates. It was a terrifying and spooky experience. It was super dark that he had a mini touchlight and getting lost the direction where the niche was placed. So, he identified by looking at pictures of deceased we pointed out earlier. Alone, yes. Scared the heart out. He placed the flowers and even with his mind thinking what happens if there is something near his car. Silly boy. And needless to say, he quitted the idea of giving flowers to his grandpa's niche located at another block, alone.
After explanantion, he realised it was stupid of him! His grandma's spirit is with our Heavenly Father. The niche is just a memory of her and reminder. He can always do it another day leh. Sigh, this little boy.. what can I say? Only to laugh my heart out.
Had a good rest after so much happenings, back to work to catch up what was leftover and focus on my assignments.
Another week to come!
♥
Friday, November 23, 2007
Some times when things happened too soon, we are just in left in shocked.
Hubby cried whenever he thinks of Ah_Ma and I will recall with him of the visits, how even when in the initial of our days of courtship I was introduced to her as Hub's sister's galfriend and how happy she is for us to visit her. Also one of her happiest moment, on our wedding, during the tea ceremony - to acknowledge me as part of the family with warm welcome.
She always teaches me how to love another, no matter how poor or how things may be. Well, I did blow my top recently cause when I was in Korea, Hubby changed his car system and it was not just a few thousands. I am upset because he spent his money like water without hesitation, without thinking that large amount and most of all, not involving me in the decision making.
So, we talked about with his cousin and sisters during late night. I think they condemned him and kinda side with me. With much guilt in his heart. I understood it is also the Ups and Downs of marriage, now, instead, I learnt how to defend him. Hubby is just like a small kid at heart and me, at times, taking the role of a mummy cum wife cum friend.
Tonight, another night of sharing with all.
Some sadness and strengthen/bonding of this point of time.
♥
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Last evening, I was in class. Hub sms me - his grandma passed away.
Very sudden.
We rushed to her place. Ah Ma had been away peacefully in her sleep. So, we helped her to dress up in her favourite top. Some sadness when changing.
Hubby was upset cause of some dispute but the main cause, he just regretted not visiting her often. And few days before, his younger sis went to her house and passed her our wedding picture which was nicely taken with her cheery smile.
She told my sis IL it is not necessary as she cant take it to heaven and few days later.. :(
Though I am not close to her, whenever visiting her, even years before our marriage, she always give me advices on how to establish a good relationship with my hubby and how to walk a happy marriage. Her greatest wish is getting us married.
"Thank you AH MA, for loving us so much and always telling us how much God loves us too. You will always live in our hearts."
♥
Monday, November 19, 2007
Though I felt so exhausted from the daily activties like work, school, projects, assignment, SS, church.
I never regret taking this chance. I know that there is no u-turn for me.
I just hope that the roads in front will be better. Just out of sudden, I am lost. I lost all my inspiration. I lost my fighting spirit.
Life is meaningless except that my love is there for me always. God kept him close to me.
A smile from him brightens my life. A hug warmth my heart.
Thank you for being there, I will hold on.
♥
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Hub is no longer going India.
He dropped the news to me when he fetched me back from airport. No more EW too.
Out a sudden, all activities has been put to a stop. I wondered why too.
Maybe so that he can be there for me, maybe in the future, a better assignment will come along.
So for now, a rest for everyone.
♥
Saturday, November 17, 2007
I am back!!
It's been a week outside S'pore. I cant image how time had passed.
Everyday, it's different. Everyday, full of surprises. I am quite stressed up for the initial few days. So much things to do, I know I am not perfect and time is running out. After a couple of days I got used to it. Slept around 3-4 hours a day. Waking up is tough.. Life is just a learning process. I am glad it is over.
It's challenging there. But again, home is the best.
I loved it here, especially where my loved ones are.
It's good to be home (That's what I told the immigration office when I got my passport checked).
Home Sweet Home :) Really happy to be back..
Some pics to share (as usual..)
♥
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Another 2 days I will be away in Korea for business trip.
Once I am back, Hubby will be away for his attachment in India.
Tomorrow I will be shopping for printing materials, packing my stuffs.. Project discussion in the afternoon, back in the office in the evening. And Friday, last minute to rush off every outstanding items..
I hope things improved from here. So many projects untouched. I felt so lousy at times, it's like I am so green, yet must understand everything. Till now, I just felt my working chemistry with my boss is not strong. Colleagues are also busy, so how, less warmth. So things has been moving faster and faster. I lost focused at work and not concentrating. I wondered why. Dishearted at times.
I skipped my QT for some time. Today, I read the daily devotion that has some impact on me:
The Value of Hard Places
by Os Hillman, November 7, 2007 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. - 2 Corinthians 4:12
Being forced into hard places gives us a whole new perspective on life. Things we once valued no longer hold the same value. Small things become big things, and what we once thought big no longer holds such importance.
These hard places allow us to identify with the sufferings of others. It keeps us from having a shallow view of the hardships of others and allows us to truly identify with them. Those who speak of such trials from no experience often judge others who have had such hardship. It is a superficiality of Christian experience that often permeates shallow believers.
Those who have walked in hard places immediately have a kinship with others who have walked there also. They do not need to explain; they merely look at one another with mutual respect and admiration for their common experience. They know that death has worked a special thing in them. This death leads to life in others because of the hard places God has taken them through.
It is impossible to appreciate any valley experience while you are in it. However, once you have reached the top of the mountain, you are able to appreciate what terrain you have passed through. You marvel at what you were able to walk through. The valley of the shadow of death has yielded more than you ever thought possible. You are able to appreciate the beauty of the experience and lay aside the sorrow and pain it may have produced.
Death works in you for a greater purpose. If you are there today, be assured that God is producing something of much greater value than you will ever know.
♥
Sunday, November 04, 2007
It's been a tiring and stressful week.
A month since I landed myself in this new job. For the first time and first job that I found that I cant cope. Many challenges in picking up the things, projects and demands. Plus upcoming business trip, studies, tests and projects.
I felt so much stress and pressed to a 'tiny' self. Last time, I used to cry over little things. Now even so, I dont even know why I cant cry it out.
I dropped an email in the late evening, come Monday, I proposed to my boss that we have a small talk on my job performance. I know maybe some already know that I am not coping well..
Not sure how my boss thinks, I just want to let him know I know very well that I had underperformed.
How? Time is so short. Things - so many to be done.
Today, after my dissertation workshop, I pondered whether I should be going back to office or buy stuff for business trip. I must be crazy, I walked up and down the street three times.. In the end, shopping - for business trip things.
Sigh, over dinner with Hub and his friends, my mind is all full of work..
When I checked my email just now. 2 interesting mails:
1) My ex-colleague: Title "Miss U"
hi dear ,
How are you ? Last light i dream of you leh . I dream you treat us eat abalone , you told us you have 500 budget every month to treat people haha ...... Mustbe missing u too much then dream of you ............. How is ur job? heard from vera you are busy and going to korea for business soon , so happy you have a good prospect job though it is busier than here .. i believe you will have a good career future , so jiayou !!! But don't be too hard working and take good care , health is more improtant !!2) My ex-boss: Title "
How did we survive"It's a powerpoint of charlie and snoppy at the jetty and cutie song with presentation of how we survive in the past without worrying..
So how, it's like God's timing.. Sending angels to comfort me.
I should end my today's blog with following:
Those who joyfully leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.
Faith ends where worry begins and worry ends where Faith begins.
